By: Asfa Taufiq
The weeping of Hazrat Umar رضی اللہ عنہ could be heard from the last rows, as it has been reported to us by 'Abdullah ibn Shaddad, who said, "I heard the sobbing of 'Umar from the last rows while he was reciting the verse from the Quran: 'I complain of my grief and sorrow to Allah.' " (12:86) (Al Bukhari, Al Bayhaqi (2/251),
You're not alone in your battle. But bear in mind… no matter how frustrated, anxious, restless or depressed you are, do not display it in front of people. Rather take your burdened heart to its Creator. Vent out your suppressed emotions and tears in front of Him. Beg to him of all that you need.
Take heed from the above narration. Even a Sahabi as strong, brave and stoic as Hazrat Umar رضی اللہ عنہ broke down in front of His Creator in prayer. The strongest of men are the most wounded underneath the mask. They're also the most sensitive and softest ones too, deep down. So realize that no one has a perfect life. Everyone is fighting their own battles, struggling to be good warriors, defending their fronts from Satan's whisperings.
And what about the armour, you ask? The damage done to it while fighting? How is that repaired? Through the tears that fall during the struggle. The pain caused in the process, the scars that remind you of the unbearable hardships and the times of helplessness and hopelessness, all of which brimmed up your eyes time and again. It was through these muffled cries, the blur through the tears and faint prayers to the Almighty beseeching His Help, that your armour was repaired. Not just repaired, but made shiny and anew without you even knowing it. And it's in this moment that the entire ocean of your tears has sent waves which washed away your anguish and calmed the storm building up in you. Because 'Verily through hardship, comes ease.'
Life will always be a solo act… an act of survival. Because what is this life but a test? But acknowledge the obscured reality that although you came in this world alone and will leave it alone, Ar Rahman is with you. And He will test you over and over again to ensure that you rely on Him solely. Attach your hopes to Him. Cling onto His Mercy in times of desperation. Beg to him as obstinately as you would to your mother (or perhaps even more). Do not put a show in front of the world. Let them know with a smile that you're a warrior, invincible who'll never give up in this lifelong battle as long as Allah is with you.
And as long as Allah is with you, there's undoubtedly always that golden ray of sunshine streaming in your glum world, filling it with hope and all things beautiful.