Written by: F. H. Paroopia Madrasah Uthmania, Karachi
Their happiness knew no bounds when they expected their first child. They thought a small flower was about to enter their lives. With the passage of time the mother became very weak because her intake was not up to her energy requirements. One day, she found herself between life and death. She was operated upon due to an emergency. After painful 24 hours she dared to open eyes only when hope gushed into her with the cry of her baby reaching her ears.
Every time she took the baby girl in her arms she forgot her sufferings. She washed her baby and changed her pampers regularly to protect her feeble child from getting cold. She massaged her body with oil and stretched her legs and arms to strengthen her weak bones. She woke up at nights whenever she cried. Whenever her baby felt hungry, she abandoned her work and gave her her feed. She took her in her lap and patted her on her back for hours whenever the baby cried with a stomach ache. She had to shoulder all the other responsibilities of cooking, looking after her home, cleaning, dusting, taking care of her in-laws’ requirements and those of her husband. She stood on one foot from dawn to dusk yet she had sleepless nights due to her infant. She became restless whenever her feeble daughter was ill. She had put her whole life into this baby; after all she was her first child. She taught and encouraged her to walk when her little child was helpless. She taught her to speak when her daughter did not know how to express her feelings. She ran madly to hug her child when she fell to the ground. Many compromises she did make and many heartbreaking comments she heard from her in-laws during the growth of this child. Being a simple woman, she learned English from her husband so that she could teach her daughter. Then the time came when her daughter could speak English better than her mother. She fought with her husband and convinced him to let their daughter study further. Her daughter then grew to an A' level student and then a graduated lady. During education, her mother used to complete household chores from A to Z and wait for her arrival in the evening. It was her mother who sacrificed her nap and kept the table ready for lunch. It was her mother who went crazy with tension when her daughter's van got late. It was her mother who brought food to her room during exams. She was complete support and protection for her daughter in all the phases of her life. She was like a sturdy wall against upcoming storm when it headed towards her daughter. She also fulfilled her daughter's unnecessary wishes.
Not only did she contribute in bringing up this girl, but her husband also did his share. He worked tirelessly from daybreak to nightfall only to give the best of necessities to his family. He could also have earned sufficient money with less stress and limited working hours but no, he wanted everything for his beloved daughter. He used to carry her on his back and walk through the ground of his colony whenever his child was restless at night. He ignored his sleep which he could get only at night. He also endured many taunts and humiliations from his senior officers just to keep earning. Whether it was extremely hot or cold, he had to leave for work. Whether it was Ramadan or any other month, he went out, passed through traffic jams and reached his office. Earning is not an easy task. When shorthanded, he ignored his own requirements and bought new branded clothes and shoes for his daughter. It was his desire that his daughter get the best education possible. He sent her to the best English schools, then to the college and the university. There is much more that he did but it is impossible to describe it all. Now the question arises… what was her attitude in answer to all these favours? How did she repay all their kindness?
When her parents asked her about something but they were unable to hear her answer, "Yes," she said with irritation. "Yes! I said yes. I have done it. Done it. Done it." Her voice gained pitch and eyes widened with exasperation as if both of them had gone mad.
"What have you done for me? Nothing extraordinary. I paid my fees from my tuition’s salary for the last semester in the university when my father was jobless. I bought clothes for myself when he was short handed. Now I will work day in and day out and finance my own self. I don't need anyone’s help anymore." Her remarks went like arrows through the heart of her devoted mother. She had leveled to the ground all the sacrifices her parents had made for her.
Imam As-Sadiq (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) has said: “Allah shall not accept the prayers of a person who looks at his parents with hatred, even if they have been unfair to him!”
Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50
"Sorry! I cannot obey all your orders. I am ill-mannered. Working in the kitchen is not my responsibility," she refused straight away when her old mother requested her to help her with the household chores.
"I will eat whenever I am hungry. Don't bother me. It is my life and I have every right to live it in my own way. You cannot dictate to me," she said to her mother and walked out of the room.
Do you know who talks to parents in this way? Non-Muslim teenagers around 15 living abroad say these things to their parents because they know that one call to the police will land their parents in jail. Why are we following them blindly?
"I am going to the mall. My friend is coming there to meet me. I will be back after a couple of hours," she informed her mother as if she was the mother herself and not the daughter.
Being educated, does it suit us to behave in this way? People say that education makes the character of a man. At least that is what I have heard from everyone. Is this the character which modern education builds? Does worldly education teach us to stand fearlessly against parents? Then I would say we should remain uneducated than acquire such an education. I would say that we should ban this education which makes us lose our head and makes us invite the wrath of our Allah and our beloved Rasoolullah صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم.
“…And that you shall show goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as by action or words) ‘Uff’ nor chide them, and speak generous word. And submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion and say ‘my Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood’.” (Bani Isra’il verse 23-24)
I cannot continue anymore. For my paper is filled with blots of tears everywhere. Alas! We have failed to understand what parents really are in our lives. We have disregarded the teachings of Islam about parents. I and all of you need to get up and walk in front of a mirror. We need to see what will be our future according to this Hadith.