Sent by Hajra Motiwala
1. Giving sad news to a troop:
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says he, "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother had died. Could you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother has died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time, be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward. Not so fast, McGrath!"
2. My men are very brave:
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place and McKenzie asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, General McKenzie."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained you can see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls Private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As Private Johnson ran away, Marshall turns to a bewildered McKenzie and says:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."